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---
title: "Understanding Scientology — us-00"
source: https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/wakefield/us-00.html
retrieved: 2026-06-28
---
Understanding Scientology, by Margery
Wakefield
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## Preface
It was late on a warm summer evening as I walked back to my apartment
from the local university. I had spent the evening there, as I
frequently did, practicing on one of the pianos at the music school. I
was feeling calm, peaceful -- a brief reprieve from the chaos of recent
events in my life.
My mood quickly changed as I approached my small apartment and found
the door wide open.
"That's impossible," I thought. "I always lock the door when I
leave." Having one's life threatened periodically tends to make one less
careless about details like locking the door.
The apartment was clearly empty, so I looked about for evidence of a
burglary. I was puzzled. The living room, the kitchen, the bathroom --
everything seemed in place. Everything was just as I had left it a few
hours earlier.
Then I walked into the bedroom. I froze in horror.
On the far wall, by the bed, a dark red liquid had been splashed
against the wall and was still dripping slowly toward the floor.
It was blood.
The message was clear.
One thought formed in my mind, pushing out all others.
"Scientology," I thought. It had to be.
For twelve years I had lived in the strange and bizarre world of
Scientology. And when, at the end of the twelve years I began to
question some of their practices, I was summarily "offloaded" or
ex-communicated from the cult. It would seem that the nightmare had
ended.
But in fact, the nightmare had just begun.
A year and a half after being expelled from Scientology, I began to
realize what had happened to me -- that for twelve years I had been
hypnotized and brainwashed without my knowledge or consent. I decided to
sue the cult. It was then that I learned the truth behind behind the
smiling faces of Scientology.
I contacted a lawyer who was known to oppose Scientology and told
him that I wanted to sue. I made plans to travel to see him two days
later.
The next day, as I was packing for the trip, I heard a knock at my
door. I opened the door to find three Scientologists from "Flag", the
organizational headquarters of Scientology located in Clearwater,
Florida -- three thousand miles away.
Somehow they knew about my call to the lawyer.
I was taken to a motel a few miles away, and for three days I was
"worked on" psychologically by the Scientologists.
I was to withdraw my lawsuit, they explained, or "something could
happen to me."
"You mean you would kill me?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"It would just be a smart thing to do," they answered.
After arguing and resisting for three days, I finally gave in and
signed their agreement, promising not to sue. I wanted to live. Finally,
they left.
After four months, I contacted another lawyer and told him what had
happened. "Come to Florida," he advised me. "You can still sue them. The
document you signed isn't valid." I moved to Florida, and filed a civil
lawsuit against the Church of Scientology.
The threats started almost immediately. Scientologists in uniform
would come to my apartment and stand in the yard making threats against
me. When they found out that I worked in a nearby mall, they intercepted
me as I left work, again threatening me if I didn't drop the lawsuit.
They would call my boss, asking when I would be leaving work and which
exit I would be using.
I received phone cans in the middle of the night. Sometimes they
would mention the names of my nieces and nephews. Shortly afterward, the
same relatives would start receiving mail from Scientology. Again, the
message was clear.
In the morning, I would find flat tires on my car, or deep scratches
on the car doors. I still receive the phone calls, ten years later.
I called the police. "There's nothing we can do," they told me. "No
crime has been committed."
No crime.
I felt like I had been raped. First by my experiences inside the
cult. Now by my experiences outside the cult.
But psychological rape is not a crime. A terror campaign against a
person by a satanic cult is not a crime.
I had entered Scientology at the age of eighteen a shy and
emotionally disturbed teenager, a psychological survivor of a painfully
dysfunctional family. I had little confidence or self-esteem.
Within months, I was transformed into an aggressive and radical
Scientologist. As a result of daily hypnotic rituals and the unending
barrage of propaganda from "bulletins" and tapes, I was completely
indoctrinated and fiercely dedicated to the group.
During the next twelve years, I traveled to six cities spreading the
gospel of Scientology, working in various Scientology centers at various
jobs.
I did volunteer work for the Guardian's Office, the notorious
CIA-like branch of the "church" which dealt with such things as
espionage, agents, infiltration, covers, plants, intelligence, and
covert activities.